Blargh

"I tried so hard, and got so far
But in the end, it doesn't even matter
I had to fall, to lose it all
But in the end, it doesn't even matter"

I've had this song by Linkin Park stuck in my brain for the past couple days, to the point where I have it playing continuously on repeat, and thought I'd try to figure out why it's so stuck.

I know it's a cliche careless listener trait, but that lyric is the only lyric out of that song that I really resonate to- the rest of the words have their own message, but for me they're essentially padding for the rest of the song as far as personal resonance goes. For those who don't know this song, essentially it's speaking about a betrayal in a relationship, but that doesn't really speak to me. I've been lucky enough to not run into unpleasant personal situations- most of my struggles have all been internal rather than external.

But anyways. After taking a look at that chorus in words, I realize I'm interpreting it in a positive way- a sort of reminder that this great big game we call life isn't worth putting too much worry and pain and negative into to try to "win", because in the end it really doesn't matter. And that even when the wheel turns and you lose everything, in the end that isn't going to matter either. And that's a philosophy I can definitely get behind (or rather, apparently I have already gotten behind this philosophy... and shut up gutter brain I don't mean it that way). There's alot of freedom in not caring about things. Of course there's things you gain when you care about things (stability, passion, joy), so it really comes down to your personal balance.

And yes, I realize this post is full of suck. No, I don't particularly care.