A Scarlet Letter

The last time I saw my inspiration, it had formed a trio with my mind and my wits and they were singing Christmas carols as a round in the pub... that was last week and they still haven't come back. So, I'm gonna try having a few friends feed me prompts to keep this little blog breathing a bit of fresh air. Apparently, today's topic is the scarlet letter.

Now, all I know of this book is only a bit more coherent than a quarter-finished pointalism painting, but the impression I got was the protagonist commited adultery by sleeping with a preacher, and was punished to public shame and bullying by way of a scarlet 'A' she had to wear on all of her clothes. At the time, I was miffed because I never noticed the preacher she slept with being punished (though there's plenty of room for me to be wrong, it's not like I actually read the book), but now I have another idea...

What would life be like if we had to visually declare our shames everywhere we went? Not necessarily for crimes (that's what public records are for), and the idea of exposing all our secret things gets rather complicated, but things society at large declares as shameful. Bigots of any flavor. Homophobes. Hypocrites. Control freaks. Creepy "Nice Guys (TM)". Right-wing fundamentalists. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone like that had a warning label on them?

I do have a rather liberal mindset, so a conservative person would probably come up with a different list of the people they'd like to put a warning label on. And the beauty of this is, they could and it would make life easier: everyone is warned away from the people they wouldn't want to associate with.

Of course, you really can't put all of a book's contents on it's cover. And trying to is a really bad idea- the best you can do is a paragraph summary, which completely misses all the detail and emotion and everything that makes the book worth reading. So the progression of this little idea ends up in a very stupid place, one that would make any libertarian terrified of the future (well, moreso than a cynical person already is).

All the really interesting things in life are only found when you look deep; and passing by the things that look weird and ugly on the surface leads to an unfulfilled life.

Tarot Musings

If you know anything at all about the Tarot, you know it can be amazingly complex. For those of you who don't know anything about it... Essentially, aspects of the human condition are summed up in these cards. The classic fortune-telling use for them involves laying our these cards in a spread, and letting them tell the story of the client's life. It sounds simple, but the practice gets complicated- each card has a "basic" meaning, iterations and subtleties of that meaning, and the meanings of the cards all interact in different ways depending on what position of a spread they're in, and that's not even taking reversals into account (which can be interpreted in various different ways just by themselves, with iterations and subtleties in each different interpretation, all of which interacting with the rest of the spread in various ways). Then again, an experienced person can boil down all the meanings of the cards down to their most essential point- like any other expert, making their specialty look easy. 

Of course, fortune telling isn't the only purpose for the tarot. It's easily used for analysis (either of your own life circumstances/psyche/etc or others), creative brain-jogging ways (gaining inspiration from the beautiful artwork, using the cards to build stories of your own), spiritual rituals (displaying a card you wish to have in your life and meditating on it until you find it's energy, for example)... The possibilities are only hampered by your creativity.

There are a couple different reasons I find myself thinking about the tarot. I've been helping a friend make sense of his readings, and I must admit I am feeling a bit of pride in being able to help him do so. I guess I can actually class myself as an intermediate student of tarot, no longer a beginner, and I feel amazingly accomplished for it (probably more than the achievement merits in most eyes, but screw that noise). The second reason is I've been toying with an idea of writing a series of books based on illustrating the Tarot. The idea is for four books, one for each of the suits, and in each book the protagonist would follow the evolution of the court cards (starting out young as a Page, growing a bit and becoming a Knight, maturing and becoming a Queen and finishing their growth as a King) living through the ideals of their suit and all of the major Arcana. Only problem, I'm really not sure what direction I want to take this idea... Ah well, I guess that's what I get to figure out later.

Valentine for thought

Valentine's Day. Some see it as a day to pay special romantic attention to their loved ones, some see it as a day they're obligated to pay special romantic attention to loved ones, some see it as "Single's Awareness Day", and some manage not to notice the holiday until they log onto Facebook.

I'm lucky enough to fall into the latter category, but despite my standing opinion of Valentine's Day sentiments (either the classic gushy stuff or the bitter "corporations just want money" or "way to make single peeps feel awful" thoughts) being trite and overdone (seriously! Everybody has an opinion about this holiday!), I hold on to hope that one day we as a culture will regrow a brain and stop working ourselves into tizzies over unimportant shit.

Yeah, we really should show our loved ones our affection often, but should we take offense to an occasion to spoil the people we love? Is there a reason we should take the holiday the way others take it, instead of taking a not-so-random day and celebrating the things we wish to celebrate? Go give a friend a hug, let a sibling know you love them even when they're annoying, pop on facebook and see which old aquaintences you've forgotten about, see if you'd like to fix that or not. Go spoil yourself, show yourself love however you need it, take the time to meditate or relax and do nothing or make time for an project dear to your heart. Go spend some time volunteering, picking up litter, planting a tree or flower bush. Honestly, go show some love for somebody or something... And then do it the next day and the day after, too. Go develop some valentine moments you can bring into your life regularly.

Have a merry Valentine's love!

Here, Borrow My Glasses

As a free-wheeling, happy-go-lucky individual, I've noticed something of a culture clash between myself and my kith and kin, because we will approach a situation with completely different perspectives. Since its always helpful to be able to see things from a different perspective, here's mine (and feel free to borrow it, seems to be working out pretty damn well for me ^.^)

I am very much an independent individual, I require freedom and autonomy. I value joy and fullfillment and helping others find the same. I value beauty and knowledge and the creation of these things.

I value kindness, but self-preservation must come first. Be generous with what you have, but overextending is just plain stupid. Only give what you are comfortable parting with, and don't mind never getting back, unless an extreme situation from a dearest loved one requires more. I know it sounds mean, but you do not owe a single thing to anybody unless you say you do. If someone helped you out in the past, then it makes sense to help them out, but if they try to say that because they were kind you owe them kindness in return, fuck no! They made their own decision to be kind, and that doesn't actually have anything to do with you- you never agreed to give them kindness back. Besides, the cliche about putting your oxygen mask on before helping others is absolutely true- can't help others when you're gasping for air.

Like I said, I require absolute freedom. I reject the idea of letting yourself be bound because it's what you "should" do, or because you "owe" it to someone, or because you agreed to something without fully understanding the consequences, or entered a bargain and now everything changed, or especially if someone dumped you into a situation and said "now you're stuck until you fix this mess". Bonds should only be made when you are in full, concious, knowledgeable control of them, and they should never be so binding you can never escape.

Life is an adventure, a whole world for us to explore; why waste time on things that make you unhappy? Find what you value, and live by those values- the values you conciously choose, not necessarily what you were raised by or what everyone else thinks is "right". Really, as long as you're not harming anyone (and no, offending someone isn't harming them- its their own fault for hanging around and refusing to be open-minded, or remove themselves from whatever thing they find offensive), it really doesn't matter what you do.

Just find what you need, what you like, what makes you happy and gives you fulfillment, and jettison all the baggage you can (since its all just stuff anyways, with only as much meaning as we give it).

High as a Kite (yes, still jet-lagged)

What is the nature of power? Physical strength, psychological intimidation, vast knowledge, uncanny ability, they all represent the ability to manipulate a medium (the physical world or peoples minds) to your will.

Given this, is there a reason to seek power if not for a purpose? Power for power's sake is rather useless, since what would you do with the ability of manipulation when you don't have something you wish to bring about?

Yes, having power can be quite a heady rush, but you can get the same rush through accomplishing something important, the endorphins released by exercise, or solving a tricky intellectual problem.

Twould make more sense to seek a purpose first, before seeking power. Just saying...

An Observation

Fire. Small, it heats homes, lights tobacco, cooks. People use it to their own ends, and use it to constructive tasks. Large, it becomes an all-consuming firestorm, eating everything in its path, until it runs out of fuel or is extinguished.
Air. Small, it is what we breathe, the breeze that cools us on hot summer days or makes us shiver in the winter. Large, it is a tornado, or it carries water to make a hurricane, or earth to create a sandstorm. Either way, it scours everything in its path, breaking off the weak parts of structures, or uprooting weak structures themselves.
Water. Small, it is what we drink, what nourishes the plants we feed off of, what we use to cleanse ourselves. Large, it becomes a flood, a hurricane (when carried by air), a tsunami (when moved by earth), washing and carrying away everything in its path.
Fire, Air, and Water are all inherently mutable, and when they become destructive they take everything in their path for themselves.

Assumptions are frustrating

So, I’m sure ya’ll have noticed I like to use the word “so” to start off sentences with. Sorry! Not really sorry, but it is a handicap to my writing, so I will try and work on it even though it’s a lovely word. And I should probably use something besides “but anyways” as a transition, while I’m at it…

That was just a little digression, though- the real topic of this post is a little rant of mine. See, people make this huge unconscious assumption and never ever think about it, even when it causes them huge amounts of heartbreak, and it drives me nuts! What I’m talking about is monogamy. Honestly, I have not been able to find a legit reason for monogamy in modern times. However, the bullshit rationalizations…

Jealousy: aka “waaaah this person actually has interests outside of me!”. No seriously, that’s exactly what it is. People recognize that jealous, controlling significant others (people who don’t want their lovers to have any friends other than them, any hobbies they can’t share, etc) are really unhealthy, and people recognize that other people need to have a variety of friends and outside interests, but… it seems like people haven’t made the leap between “yeah, I wanted to hang out with my friend but they’re busy hanging out with someone else right now, that’s a mild bummer” and “yeah I wanted to fuck my lover but they’re busy fucking someone else right now, that’s a mild bummer”. One is a perfectly common scenario, the other is the end of the world! Seriously, jealous people: The reason the person you’re interested in is interesting is because they have outside interests, outside experiences, outside relationships! And it’s bullshit that you’re allowed to share everything (friendship, partnerships in some project, hobbies) but sex with multiple people.

“But if you really loved them, you’d only want to be with them!”  Just like if you really loved your hobby, there’s no possible way you could get bored or tired with it. Or if you truly loved your home, there’s no way you’d possibly want to go on an adventure, get out of the house and live a little. Hey, if you truly loved your job, there’s no way you’d ever want a break from it, right? Some people are wired to be focused like that… but others aren’t, and it’s despicable to treat them like they’re supposed to be wired differently. It’s bullshit that people are allowed to want to switch up hobbies, best pals, jobs, places to live… and not lovers.

“What, you want more than one lover? You’re so greedy!” No, you’re greedy for wanting your partner all to yourself, when the idea of “owning” a person is just wrong anyways. English has very possessive language when it comes to describing relationships (“my friend”, “my pet”, “my boss”… see what I mean?), but it’s bullshit to take it literally in the case of significant others.

“You just want an excuse to cheat.” Excuse me, cheating is a betrayal, a lie, telling someone that you’ll do X and doing Y instead. If I told my roomie I’d wash the dishes and then didn’t, I’d be cheating her! If someone told their significant other told them they wouldn’t go drinking (or to the theaters, or fishing, or insert some other activity here) with anyone else, but then went partying with a bunch of friends, they cheated! It’s bullshit that “real relationships” include this unspoken limitation, when there’s no need for it! As long as neither party expects monogamy, then there’s no lie, no betrayal, and therefore in no way is it cheating.

“So you’re such a horndog that you need that many sex partners.” Possibly; what’s wrong with that? Or maybe I like to switch between different people’s styles in bed. Or maybe I like experimenting with people. Or maybe I move around alot, so it’d be insane to try and stick with just one person. Or maybe my private life shouldn’t be any of your business unless I make it your business.

I could go on and on, and maybe if I hear more rationalizations I’ll edit them into the post…

I don’t know why monogamy came about, and I don’t know why people thought it was a good idea… but I call bullshit on the cultural assumption that monogamy should be the default. People should have as many lovers as they have time and energy for, just like people have as many friends as they have time and energy for, as many pursuits, etc. etc. Yes, I do sound like I’m attacking the precious institution of monogamy. That’s because I am; object to the various ways I’m attacking it, if you have a counter in defense of the institution, not to the simple fact that I dare to attack it. And it may sound like I object to all monogamous relationships; not necessarily. If you both like monogamy, rock on. I just think that the limitations of monogamy should be taken on a special case, not as a default meant to be “one size fits all”, because it’s a super tiny size.

Picks to nit at (part the first)

So for my birthday, my wonderful sister sent me some old books of hers, specifically occult books since I can’t really find any where I am (and definitely not where I was)! Of course, as with all books, you kinda have to filter out what doesn’t make sense, and one of the things I’ve been struggling with is how these books talk about feminine and masculine energies.

Keep in mind I am a feminist, of the stripe that believes that nothing really separates the genders other than their junk; there may be a bell curve of certain characteristics for each gender (males on average might be more assertive than females, for example), but there’s no way of determining if cultural conditioning is the cause or effect, and there’s enough exceptions to the bell curves that they’re pretty pointless anyways.  And the whole concept of saying “you’re born with this set of genitals, you should be like this; you were born with that set of genitals, so act like that” is so retarded I don’t even… Most people don’t work like that- everybody has a mix of things society put in the girl box and guy box (a female can be a total jock and have a green thumb; a male can like shooter games and be a talented artist; etc.). Feminists have made a lot of progress in making it socially acceptable for females to explore “masculine” aspects of their personality, but unfortunately there’s still a lot of work to be done to make it allowable for males to explore their “feminine” sides. Segue: You know how in the yin and yang concept, traits are grouped together? Like, Yin contains receptive, femininity, lunar, darkness, while Yang contains active, masculine, solar, day energies? This has never made sense to me. It’s like saying cats are the opposite of dogs, and orange is the opposite of blue, so cats and the color orange are related while dogs and the color blue are related. What? This idea is very pervasive throughout American culture’s dealings with gender, though- art and science are opposites, therefore males should have one and females should have the other. Logic and emotion are opposites, therefore one should be a feminine trait and one should be a masculine trait. Service jobs (nurses, secretaries, etc) and active jobs (construction, professional sports, etc) are pretty much opposites, so one should be the domain of males and one should be the domain of females. Etc, etc. Can you see the problem with this? Actually, there are multiple problems, see how many you can spot…

So the whole concept that there are a set of energies that consist of female traits (lunar, earth, sea, depth, receptive, passive, delicate, emotional), and a set of energies composed of male traits (solar, air, fire, height, active, giving, robust, intellectual), just annoys me! And strikes me as completely wrong… Until I figured out that me and these books were just speaking different languages. What I would call an active energy, they label masculine; what I call receptive, they would call feminine. They seem to be subscribing a little bit to the yin/yang concept as well, but for the most part it seems to just translate as either masculine=active (giving) and feminine=passive (receiving) energies. I’m thinking this is all their doing because they will name specific energies, and talk about the multiple energies within something (they do think it’s possible for masculine earth energies to exist within a working, or to work a solar feminine spell), so… Yeah, I can live with this. Hopefully this reasoning might help one of you dear imaginaries having a similar issue with wording ^.^ 

*Crickets*

So... Yeah, I really do not seem to turn on the computer very much XD. Sorry imaginary readers, real life takes precedence, and I seem to have this amazing talent for finding people who will drag me out and make me be social with them, so... If it helps, I'm rapidly getting tired of being social 24/7, so you'll probably see me online more (no promises though XD).

But let's see... I don't feel like typing out details of everything I've been doing, but a few general things I've learned:

The ocean truly is an incredible aphrodisiac, especially in the middle of the night at full moon. Not just in a "it's so romantic" way, but there's just something magical about the waves crashing and being alone in the darkness...

You can get drunk off sleep deprivation- there's no hangover, but at least for me I get seriously impulsive and wild. The weird thing is I'm completely concious of the fact that if I were more rested I would edit myself and act differently, but I just do what I feel like anyways...

There are some things that sound amazing on paper and just don't work out in real life, and for me casual sex is one of those things. Not sure if having sex repeatedly with one person will fix my apathy toward the whole thing, or if it's because I haven't met someone I have chemistry with yet, or if I'll end up just washing my hands of the whole business... Guess I'll have to get a bit more experience with sex before I decide what I want XD

Don't get obsessed with some girl or guy you've just met a few days ago. Don't get obsessed about anyone, period! Trust me, unless they're mentally unbalanced, they'll get really creeped out when they find out that you're obsessed. And if you're an object of obsession, don't be nice and polite to the other person- stomp on them. I don't care if they're otherwise nice, obsession serves nobody any good at all and it needs to get stomped on as soon as it crops up.

When someone you love moves away, don't be afraid to stay in touch with them, don't be afraid to still love them, and adopting polyamory will save everyone some grief. Polyamory, in case you haven't heard of it, is basically a philosophy of thought that says "Screw popular culture's idea of ownership in love, I can love as many people as my heart feels something for, and they can love who they love, and there's no need for exclusivity". To be honest, monogamy never made much sense to me- I'm allowed to love multiple family members, and I'm allowed to have multiple friends, but I'm only allowed to have sex with one person?

Even if you're an extrovert, time to yourself is necessary, and your friends can find other people to hang out with while you take that time to yourself.

Don't be afraid to be a bit selfish- you don't need to serve everyone's needs 24/7. You are allowed to take time to yourself, you don't have to be shiny and interesting all the time, and people will still love you if you need to hide for awhile.

Life really is a journey, you don't have to have everything figured out instantly, you're allowed to change your opinion, you're allowed to change your personality- change anything and everything any time you feel like it! Life is always changing, accept it and learn to like the adventure ^.^

Yeah, 3/4 of this post was me telling you shit you should do/think... As always, feel free to ignore me ^.^

About everyone's favourite hobby!

Aka, procrastination. True to form, I thought of this post while chatting with a friend, but I procrastinated actually writing it until just now XD. But see, I have this theory on how to do procrastination right: completely and thoroughly enjoy whatever procrastination mechanism you use (playing games, reading, sleeping, doing unrelated chores, etc). Sounds simplistic, and like people would do that already, but here's my logic for this:

People generally stay completely conscious of the fact that they're procrastinating, which means that they spend this leisure time they carve out for themselves with a foreboding cloud full of "SHOULD-SHOULD-SHOULD-DO-THIS-MAN-WHY-ARE-YOU-SO-BLOODY-LAZY-JUST-DO-IT" floating above their heads, which
a) doesn't actually help
b) completely ruins the nice procrastination mechanism activities, which doesn't do anybody any good
c) makes people extra resentful of the task they're procrastinating about

Not good, is that? Of course not. On the other hand, if people banish the should-cloud and just enjoy their procrastination mechanism, what happens is
a) people are no longer distracted by wanting to do X procrastination mechanism/leisure time activity (even if it's something as mindless as playing solitaire, it still fulfills a need- we all need to turn our brains off occasionally)
b) people enjoy some actual leisure time, which generates positive feelings
c) which means that some of those positive feelings will slop into the task they're procrastinating (either in a "Alright, I feel all charged up and energized, let's DO this!", or in a "Alright, deadline's seriously approaching *cracks knuckles, gets to work, focused since they got their leisure-time-longing out of their system* oh hey this isn't that hard after all!" way, or something along those lines (those are just the two reactions that happen to me).

You see? Now run along, enjoy your procrastination ^.^

Something you should hear

No matter how much you like them, no matter how awesome they are, bullying your way into their life will not make them like you. No matter how sweet they are, no matter how forgiving they are; just because they got tired of pushing you away does not mean they actually like you.

Pushing and asking and pulling and pleading constantly until they say "yes" is not consent; persistence is not a bloody virtue. The stalking and obsession you see in romances? Not cool. Real people don't actually like people centered around them; it's very creepy and unsettling and just go find a life of your own and become a human being in your own right.

It doesn't matter how many issues you have, or how miserable your life is; it is not their job to help you. They do not owe it to you, no matter if they "caused" the hurt or if they've helped you in the past, if you've "helped" them or not. They don't OWE you a bloody damn thing, and if you whine about it, that isn't going to make them WANT to help you. Accept that they're not your free therapist and move on- go write a blog, that's free too.

It is not your place to judge their life, their decisions, their schedule, their passion. It is not your place to decide they "should" like you, "should" help you, "should" give you what you want. If they don't want to have anything to do with you, just back off. Don't assume ulterior motives, don't come back an hour, a day, a week, or a month later; just back out of their life for good, and go find someone else.

If they tell you to stop, stop. If they tell you to get out of their life, get out of their life. If they tell you you're stepping over lines, step back (and don't do it again, for fuck's sake). If you feel they're being unreasonable, the answer is not to try and argue and browbeat them until they agree, the answer is to find a person to spend time with that isn't "unreasonable" (and this applies no matter if an outside observer thinks you're right or they're right- seriously, no good will come of it either way).

And don't expect brownie points for this shit either. This isn't "extra-hard bonus-worthy" behavior, it's a bloody part of being a DECENT HUMAN BEING. And it is NOT. THAT. HARD. So grow up already, please.

Disclaimer: Yes, I'm sure you all have at least some decency in you. Yes, I'm sure that if I ever get readers the vast majority of you won't need to read this. Yes, this should still be required reading for everyone, either so you can stop your "stomping on people's boundaries" behavior or you can recognize if someone in your life is stomping on yours.

"Get a life already!"

But what is this magical "life" that we're supposed to have? Does anybody actually have one? Sure, most people use it in the context of "partying at clubs with friends", but wouldn't that get boring after a while?

 At least, I think so. So, let's define "a life" in a way that's actually useful! How about... If you have a social presence around a group with a shared interest, you have a "life". It lets everyone, from gamer geeks organized around DnD campaigns to artistic types in the same pottery or painting class to jocks in a sport team, have a life (which is important since a life is apparently a desirable thing, and everybody deserves one, right?). Or, wait... How about we skip the "social" bit entirely and just say that everybody has a life, period. After all, we all have things that give us joy, yes? Or things that we feel give life meaning, right? And we do all breathe and think and feel and go about our existence, so yes, everybody alive has a life, pretty much by the definition of the word "alive".

Honestly, what's the point of telling someone to get a life? Really, what are you trying to accomplish by telling them they're living an incomplete existence? Either they agree and are presumably already working to fix it, or they don't agree because they like their life like it is, thankyouverymuch, and they'll just ignore you. So really, telling somebody to get a life is pointless, unless you're trying to be mean by randomly policing someone's behavior to try and get them to conform to your own standards. And you know what? Their life is none of your business, unless they want to make it your business. You have no right to police anybody's life but your own. So, let's all let this stupid phrase die already, alright?

Groovy

Yes, groovy

He makes my point much more elegantly than I could, so I'll let him talk. (honestly, even if you hate the word groovy, listen to him. Scottish accent = ftw!)

Speaking of bringing words back... You know how women are called "Miss" or "Mrs." depending on whether or not they're married? And how men just get called "Mr.", with no qualifier? That really is unfair- not just in a strict, "everything should be equal" way (though that's important too), but if a woman's not looking to get a date, who's business is it whether or not she's married (or in a commited relationship, or whatever)? But, there is a neutral title for women, and it's "Ms." (pronounced Miz), and honestly, why not use it?

In other (non)news, the reason I haven't actually been writing is because I've been suffering attacks of "oh gods what the hell do I SAY!" and a general perfectionism desire to be this totally groovy internet person and it just doesn't happen, because I'm boring >.<. And it's not like I have any readers to inconvenience or anything (so thank you non-existent guys for not pressuring me to write shit XD).

But, um.... yeah. Whenever I manage to find a vaccine against being boring, I'll let ya know.

So, let's try this again

Yes, I ended up not writing for a couple weeks. Yes, I know, I told myself that I'd write every day to exercise those creativity muscles, and it didn't get done. But you know what? I'm done beating myself up about it, and I'm totally done trying to tell myself that "I should write every day and be totally wise and amazing". It didn't work back in 8th grade when I was trying to tell myself not to be a lazy fuck, and it probably won't work now. So you know what I'm gonna do? Write as much as I bloody well feel like, and refuse to feel guilty about any of it. Even if I do end up being totally boring since I have nothing much to say since right now I'm basically stuck in limbo, waiting to be sent to boot camp. And I know that (for right now, at least), I don't actually have any readers, which is okay. So.

I did realize that I do have something to say, however, which is why I'm writing this post now (instead of three days ago when I tried to start a post, because I didn't realize I had this to say then).

Even when you're at a point in your life when you hate your life, and there doesn't seem to be any way to fix it, you can still change it. It can be in a big way or a tiny way, it may end up being a shift in thinking instead of a shift of circumstances, but I will guarantee you that something will change. Because that's what life is all about, it always changes; sometimes for the worse, true, but sometimes for the better, and if you're in a shitty place right now, that just makes it more likely that the change will be for the better. And sometimes, you can change more than you think you can. Really, sometimes the way to help change whatever it is you hate can be right in front of your nose, and you can't even see it because you can't cross your eyes. Even if you can cross your eyes physically... You know what I mean. So, ask advice! That's part of what the internet is for, to find information and advice and stranger's opinions that you can take or refuse to take or whatever, and not be as vulnerable as you might be in real life (because we all have information we wouldn't trust our dearest friends with, specifically because they're our dearest friends- same goes for enemies and aquaintences and basically the people living around you).

Even if you can't take people's advice/can't change your circumstances the way you want to/are basically stuck waiting on something, you can learn to be patient. Learn to appreciate what you have better. Go outside and soak up some sunshine, listen to music, get a good night's sleep and hope things look better in the morning/afternoon (which they generally do), etc. etc. The phrases "time heals all" and "patience is a virtue" are cliches for a reason, even if we're tired of hearing them by now.

And no, I won't say what's brought this post on.

If wishes were fishes...

We'd walk on the sea! Or they'll be horses, and Jayne Cobb will have plenty of steak... Anyways, this post is about my take on what to do if you ever encounter a genie that gives you three wishes. If you guys see problems either with the wording or the wishes themselves, please, feel free to comment ^.^

First wish: Just to avoid the classic story plot, whereupon the character makes a wish and the evil genie exploits the wording to make life disastrous for the character making the wish, I would advise wishing "For you, Genie, to act upon wishes in the spirit in which they are asked; which means giving me what I want, not necessarily exactly what I asked for, therefore not exploiting loopholes in clumsy wording or logistical problems". The phrasing protects against things such as wishing to be the tallest person on the basketball team, and having the rest of the members shrink, or winning at gambles so much you have IRS agents or the mafia after you.

Wish the Second: I, personally, think that wishing "for modest luck in all that I or those I befriend do" is a wonderful wish; being sure to improve all areas of your life (from finding romantic love to getting that raise you ask for to having good enough reflexes to save you from a car crash) without needing to try and think of them all and address them seperately. Why only modest luck? To avoid having the media hound you for miracles surrounding you every day, friends to grow all super envious, or government agents to grow suspicious of you. And why include your friends? Because who wants to see a friend suffer? And the "those I befriend" phrasing includes friends you might make in the future, and ensures that if you have a falling out with somebody, you aren't forced to watch them enjoy the good luck you previously bestowed upon them.

The Third Wish: I would save this wish for anything specific you really want. For example, a person might wish to "make me think exercise is fun", or "help me be able to learn foreign languages quickly and effortlessly", or "make my in-laws stop being such bitches". I'll go over some wishes that would probably be a bad idea, and my reasoning why (and some alternate wishes, just because).

"Make me a superhero/wizard!" Because honestly, in the real world, you would either become a lab rat, or be forced to hide your identity all the time. The comic books and movies might make the double life seem glamorous, or those near slips funny, but secrets = stress and stress = all sorts of bad things. Yes, I know, it would be totally awesome to be able to conjure fireballs in your hand or summon magical talking cats, but is that truly worth becoming a bundle of raw nerves?

Alternate Wish: "Help me find really good fiction books that are exactly to my taste" (so you can live these powers and adventure through cool characters), "make virtual reality technology develop alot faster" (so you can play virtual games and be able to do all these things), "make me smarter/stronger/faster/better" (which would only be developing a area of your natural abilities, therefore easy to explain away, and gaining real world benefits).

"Make me rich!" How? Through winning the lottery? And then what would you do? Laze about on a beach? Sounds lovely, but it'll wear thin, and then you have to pay a ton in taxes, and become hounded by the media, and on and on... Besides, if you have nothing else (somebody who loves you, health, ability to appreciate what you have), then being rich won't make you happy, and it's been proven that rich people aren't really happier than normal people anyways.

Alternate wish: "Help me find the perfect job for me" (giving long-term satisfaction, steady income, a congenial working environment to meet new people who could become friends),or "help me get a raise (or promotion)", which would mean giving you more confidence (never a bad thing), or improving your skill at the job, thus easier to work with, or both, or some other factor that I haven't thought of but would nevertheless probably help enrich your life in other ways.

"Give me adventure!" Getting mauled by lions, tigers, or bears is an adventure. Getting kidnapped is an adventure. Getting framed for a serious crime is an adventure. Catch my drift? (same thing goes for excitement or "spice in my life").

Alternate wish: "Help me find my life less boring" (either from helping you be able to appreciate things more, or finding a new hobby, or figure out what's missing from your life), or "put more new, positive things in my life" (adding the positive makes sure that these new things are good things). Or, if you already have a specific idea in mind, say it! It could be anything from "Give me more opportunities to travel fairly safely", to "I need to meet more interesting people", or "I need to move out of this boring, tiny old town"...

In general, I would advise against wishes that require changing other people (ethically, because it's wrong to mess with other people's brains- would you want somebody messing around with your brain?- practically, since a) if somebody discovers what you had the genie do, you'll have hell to pay, and b) if you have any sort of scrap of concious, it'll haunt you for the rest of your life), actually changing the environment around you (because a) the butterfly effect, b) really hard to explain, c) just plain wrong, again), or trying to change huge things without a logistical plan. Solve world hunger? How? Have crates of food magically appear everywhere, have scientists have incredible breakthroughs on farming technology, have all the world go vegitarian because growing plants is more efficient than having animals eat tons of plants and then eat them, whittle the population down to what we can feed with our current resources (which would mean either forcibly sterilizing people, murdering babies, murdering grown adults now)... just think about it.

So, there you have my thoughts on the matter. Yes, I know, genies don't exist and I'm probably putting way too much thought into it... But hey, it's only a blog post, exercising the brain never hurts, and if you come across this post a million years from now, still feel free to comment if you have an extra thought laying about in your head!