Sunday, December 30, 2012


Yes, it's been awhile since I've written... I was seduced away from an online life by a lovely young man we'll call Lion. It's funny- taking a quick look at the dates, I've actually been managing to keep a fairly steady stream of writing ever since I came here (except the past month), but it feels to me like I've hardly written since those jet-lagged posts. Oh, the tricks my brain plays on me, they're so great....

'Tis a fact about military life that never really sank in until recently, despite my father telling me a bit about what it was like to switch schools and live all over the place as an Air Force brat, but... Being in the military means that you're going to move somewhere, get settled in, then have to leave. As soon as you make some friends, they're going to leave; others you get to keep for awhile, but they're still going to leave. Either that or you're going to meet a newcomer shortly before you leave yourself to go repeat the process. I'm discovering that you pretty much have to be able to develop affections quickly and either shallowly or be able to heal quickly from the pain of losing your friends and lovers. Still... tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, and traveling so much and encountering so many people pretty much ensures you'll always be able to find people you can love.

Lion is an amazing person. I met him after my week here in Ramstein, and we clicked instantly. It was one of those times when one thing lead to another rather quickly, and before I knew it we were an item. Dear soul that he is, he was alright with my polyamory... but much to my surprise, I found myself not actually wanting anyone other than him very much. Just a random tidbit, having a long-term sexual relationship with someone really does make the sex awesome; it's what happens when each person spends more and more time learning their partner's bodies and what really pleases them ^.^ I only got to spend three months with him, but we made those months count, and he really taught me alot, and tossed alot of assumptions I had about relationships right upside their heads. I was able to confirm that I'm not really a settle-down type (I do need my independence and lots of alone time, and I do have this habit of making more friends than I have time for), but I do like longer-term relationships (as opposed to one-night stands), and connecting on emotional and mental levels as well as on physical levels makes everything amazing.

But alas, he has left, and I am left to continue on continuing on. Yes, a little bit of situational depression ensued from him leaving, but people refused to leave me alone, and I think I'm mostly over that depression. Don't know if it's entirely natural, or if it has something to do with the fact that I've started taking fish oil supplements (supposedly they have a greater than placebo effect on depression, and don't have side effects beyond *possible* hypomania in bipolar subjects, but the research isn't too clear on that, and anyways I LIKE my hypomania).

Yep, that's about all I feel like talking about. I'd apoligize for leaving you with a sucky post, dear imaginaries, but I know you don't care anyways.

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