Sunday, April 22, 2012

Adventures, social life, and self confidence, oh my!

Yep, the title says it all, pretty much, so if you don't feel like doing too much reading you don't have to read the rest of this :P

So I said posting would be super rare, and it might still be (I still don't quite know how regular I want this blog to be), but I keep having these adventures and such and I keep wanting to tell somebody, but typing it all out on my phone so I can text peeps is ridonkulous (yes that is now a word, it's even more ridiculous than ridiculousness) and me and my sister are never unbusy at the same time so I can call her, so I finally realized that hey, a blog is for telling people shit, right? So I can type it all out here! Yes, it took me a month to realize that, hush.

I kinda mentioned in the last post that people have a real "fuck it" attitude around here, and that I've picked up on that and am reveling in it! Still true. The combination of going through Basic and then arriving at tech school (not sure which is the cause) has made me develop a ton of self-confidence. Like, I used to bend over backwards for my friends, stay up til ridonkulous hours to talk to them even when I was dead tired, do anything, and now I'm just like "fuck it, if they want to talk to me they can squeeze it into their schedules when I'm not busy". I used to be terrified of authority (my mother was a real disciplinarian, and both her and father were paranoid as hell so I wasn't allowed to do shit), and now I'm just like "fuck that shit, I'm gonna do what I want!". Obviously, in the military I can't take that too far, but now I do my homework on my own time instead of right after school, I'll walk around outside when and where I feel like it, I hang out with who I like, I do what I want to do in my free time! Having this kinda freedom is niiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.

Of course, my free time seems to be filled with socialization... I picked up smoking- le gasp, so unhealthy! Of course, I don't give a fuck about my health, I wanted to have something that would make me go outside because if I don't I'd just hang around online all day and I don't wanna do that anymore, I wanted to have something that's a lead in to being social, and plus smoking's pretty cool in and of itself- I smoke cigars because they're tasty and cigarettes taste like shit, smoking makes me pay attention to my breathing (accidental meditation has happened a couple of times, which is pretty awesome), and it's kinda fun to know that I'm being rebellious. But a side effect of this is that I'm making friends, and they drag me out and make me be social, and it's probably good for me so I go along with it (besides, what else do I have to do, right?), and it makes weekends actually entertaining and memorable!

Like, the first weekend I got ATP status (forgot to mention this yesterday, basically right after basic you're in Initial Transition Phase, which means you can't do too much since they're afraid giving people freedom right away would give them crazy, then after a while when you've passed two room and two uniform inspections you get freedom, which is called Advanced Transition Phase), I got to go hang out with this awesome guy I'd been hanging around (he was stuck on CQ duty, which means he got to stare at a side entrance and make sure a terrorist didn't sneak in or whatever, and I was keeping him company since obviously he was bored as hell) and fuck him, and then Saturday he was busy with other friends so I hung around at the smoke pit all day, then a couple of guys and I went off on a little exploring adventure because we were bored with the smoke pit, ended up at the beach, one guy left and the other guy came with me into the water, then we ended up eating breakfast (it was late enough it was early) and falling into a hotel room and fucking (hey, I had been celibate for 2 years before Basic, I really really needed it), and then Sunday I took a really lazy day and just went shopping.

This second weekend I'm having is pretty fun too, at least so far! Last night I was wandering around, taking glee in the whole "able to wander off base in the middle of the night since I don't have a curfew" things... Though it was really disappointing, even at 1 am there were still cars going by, and I wandered into a residential area and there were all sorts of streetlights... I found a little patch of trees but it didn't feel like a real patch of trees, it just felt sad and empty, so I just turned around and went back. Besides, I got bullied (concern trolled? I don't know what the word would be) by a fellow airman who was headed to bed to text somebody who was staying up every half hour, just to be safe (how that's supposed to help me be safe, I dunno), and he was all "it's dangerous, crazy" and guilted me with "nope, staying up til I know you're safe", and since I wasn't having any fun with the walk I went ahead and came home. But it was a useful walk, made me realize a few things, so there's that. And today I hung around the smoke pit again, then met up with a new friend who took me to a hookah bar, which was awesome! It was also funny- we're sitting at a table, and there's this guy by himself, and we kinda invited him into the conversation, and the next thing I know my guy (Trey) was coaching the new guy (Nathan) on how to catch chicks using me as a sort of practice chick! Funniest thing, I swear... Had trouble keeping a straight face. Poor guy, he was so socially awkward... But he did make a bunch of progress, so we did our good deed for the day, and we also kinda ended up melting into another group who came in and sat next to us, and they were cool too- one of them was a really awesome Wiccan guy who read tarot cards for Nathan and then for me, helped me realize a couple things (like not to get so worked up about my friends problems, since it's their own shit to deal with, and he talked me into seeing a chaplain, which I've been avoiding because I can't articulate it, but I have been consciously not going to get help and he gave me the wake up call/shake to the shoulders I probably need). I dunno what tomorrow's going to look like- I'm planning on doing some more shopping (hey, I can only carry so much at a time), and possibly hanging out more at the smoke pit, and maybe an adventure will happen and maybe not, who knows? Oh, and I have some homework and studying that should probably get done at some point too...

So I talked about all these things in the reserve order of the title, but it sounds good like it is, so deal with it :P. I may or may not write next weekend or sooner describing tomorrow's adventure or next weekend's adventure, or I may talk about something else I wind up wanting to talk about instead! I dunno. So... expect anything at any time I guess? Peace, love, ciao, etc.

1 comment:

  1. Where are you :(
    Come look at the cave's new second!


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